What we do when we are waiting on road construction

It's true - we are special.

In other news, I made these not too long ago. They were really delicious (dare I say... better than the original.)

Finally, for those of you out there that would like to know me better but are limited by time or distance, here is a tidbit that will help you understand me better: I am obsessed with National Geographic. Seeing one of those magazines in my mailbox is enough to just about make my day. I am in the habit of not reading them right away and always having at least one unread magazine hanging around. It is my security blanket.

In the last issue I read (May I believe) I came across this really cool article about club winged manakins. Here, watch the video:

This is a post

and it is about me. About us, really. And about our journey through life. I have the feeling (true or not, I don't know) that a lot of people are curious to know why we don't have kids yet and I suspect they suspect they know the reason but don't want to ask. And me, not being an overly open person, for better or worse, will not usually volunteer information. So we just go along, assuming the other person knows what we want to talk about but never talking about it. It's probably just me that thinks that actually. I think that I think other people think about me more than they actually do. I guess that means I'm vain.

I have felt a need to express what we are experiencing on this blog. I am not sure why but mostly for the above stated reason that people don't want to ask me but I actually do want people to know. I feel/hope that everyone who reads this blog is a friend or family member who I care about and I want all of you to know our experience so you don't have to guess or wonder. I want you to feel like you can ask me about it if you want to or pray for us if you feel the urge. So, since plenty of people are completely open about their reproductive habits (by getting pregnant and having kids and all), I feel that I can also be open about the fact that I am not pregnant, do not know when I will be, but hope to be yesterday. Alex and I are starting down the path of trying to figure out what the problem is and we don't have all the answers yet.

I don't really expect or want sympathy from this post, but I just want to tell people so they know. So that when I talk to you in the future I don't have to wonder if you are wondering about it. That is all. It is a purely selfish thing really. I feel the need to unburden myself of this information.

In the time that I have wanted to get pregnant, I have watched many friends and family members get pregnant and have their kids. None that I can think of that have done it twice in that same time, at least not yet. While I will admit I am sometimes tempted to feel sorry for myself about all of these fertile people around me and at the very least, envy their good luck and happiness, in fact I am happy for each of these wonderful little people entering the world and the families that will love them. I want all of you fertile people out there reading this to know that.

I think that infertility can be a sensitive and painful subject for a lot of women that struggle with it. Maybe it will be for me someday, although I hope not and I am not planning on it. Am I sad about it? Of course I am sometimes, but not that often. Sometimes I feel the need to grieve a loss if you can call it that (that is what it feels like), so I do for a bit and then I move on. Overall, I am confident that we will have a family and I feel that there are things that I need to learn from this journey that will eventually help me to be a better mom. And when I finally get kids I will love them and not call them flea bags.

A few things help me to have a hopeful perspective and not let myself spiral down into self-pity. The first is the faith that God loves me and has a plan for my life. That is the main one. Then after that there are a few things I remind myself of from time to time. One is when Elder Packer said in this past General Conference that people who want kids, even if unable to have them, are much better off than those who can have kids but won't. There was a recent Ensign article from a woman who had infertility for years and some of her lessons also stick in my head, and also I have come across a blog from a couple who struggles with infertility that has an amazing positive outlook on life. Then when I think about it in the grander scheme of things, I think how grateful I am for my two hands. My hands do everything for me. I couldn't bake, sew, ride a bike,  work, floss, etc without my two hands. I am so grateful for hands! You might think I am being silly because you can't hear my voice, but I am actually seriously grateful for my hands. And I am also grateful for the fact that I have food and I don't have to wonder where it is going to come from. Seriously, I am so blessed.

That was a long post relatively and it didn't have pictures so it is really boring. The end.

Success!

If success is measured by things not dying, then today has been a successful day. The temperature reached 99 degrees and no rabbits died! We lost a couple of rabbits last year to the heat when it was not even as hot as it was today, and that is one of the main reasons we went to "free range" rabbit raising. We made a few artificial rabbit dens out of large plastic tubs turned upside down. The rabbits, being rabbits, wanted to dig their own burrows which we mostly discouraged after we woke up one morning to find that they had dug themselves out of their enclosure. We almost had real free range rabbits there for a while. Since then we stop up their holes with bricks, except for one recently dug under the shed by an expecting mother that she raised her rabbits in. We haven't blocked that one and they go in there during the heat of the day to keep cool.

This is a map of the burrow the rabbits are building under our house as we speak. 

(These are actually rabbit burrows. J. Zool., Lond. (1985) 206, 253-262)

Other success is measured by me not losing my job. Not that I was about to, but I haven't, and that is a good thing.

Finally, we have enjoyed a little bit of fresh garden produce this year.

I wore this lettuce to church behind my ear. 

Alex is busy studying for a big test coming up. It is the USMLE (the "you smile"? I know - pretty weird name for a test). This is pretty much what he looks like all the time but without the hoodie. Because it is HOT in our house.

I am busy being sad that so many of my friends have moved or are going to be moving out of the ward soon. I love our mostly student congregation, but it breaks one of my heartstrings every time a family leaves me. All I have to say to all you is that you better move somewhere cool and have an extra bedroom (and bath please) so I can come visit you.

PS Apparently I have blog readers from Colombia, Russia, Nigeria and South Africa. If that is you, could you please send me a background check of yourselves since I don't think I know you and your address so I can come visit you? Also do you have an extra bed and bath? Thank you.

Also, Blogger has informed me that I haven't made any money off my blog yet, so anyone is welcome to mail me a check. I will use it to pay off my student loans. I promise. Thank you.

What is wrong with this picture?!?!

This magazine shows up every few weeks and every time I see this picture, I cringe. There is something seriously wrong with this picture. I'll give you a hint - I see too much of it on a daily basis.

Ok I will give you another hint.

FAT DOG ALERT!! This dog is obese! OBESE!!! If you own a dog that looks like this please stop killing your dog with kindness (treats) and buy it a gym membership, as fast as possible! And now you won't be shocked when you take your dog to the vet and they tell you it is fat. 

***

In other news, last week was a week of firsts. It was the first time I sewed all the way through my finger with my sewing machine needle.

Happy Mother's Day

to my own wonderful mother and also to the many women in my life that have helped me be who I am. I am thinking of teachers, Young Women leaders, and women in my family and congregation that are wonderful examples of nurturing and motherhood.

I am also grateful for Mary, the mother of Jesus. I have never connected Mother's Day before with honoring her example and sacrifice, but I found this movie on the church website and it finally dawned on me that today is a perfect day to remember her.

A word or two about the bike

First of all, it is a nice bike and I am really grateful for it. The place I got it let me get it at wholesale price (actually, lower than that - it was on sale) because he had to meet an order minimum. Second, I am "earning" it based on the miles I put on it (saving gas, wear and tear on the car, etc). Here is my graph. Each time I go to work and back (20 miles), I fill in one square. When the whole thing is filled, my bike will be paid off. (The red squares represent what I got from selling my old bike.) Alex thinks this is silly, but it makes me feel better about getting it.

Third, I have noticed since getting my bike that Illinois is much windier than I ever imagined previously. Fourth, I noticed that even though wind is annoying when it is in your face, at least it keeps the gnats from getting caught in your teeth.That is all about my bike.

A word or two about something else: I have a dear friend getting married this Friday. For her wedding I made her some quilted place mats. I am not worried about her seeing pictures of it on the blog before I give them to her because a) she is way too busy right now to check my blog, b) she probably doesn't check my blog anyway, and c) only four people check my blog and two of them live with me.

One side has a little appliqued bird.

The other side has some cool fabric.

Six total. 

Spring means rabbits

So, spring is well under way here in Illinois. The weather in March was amazingly warm (hot) and I was able to get my garden started about a month earlier than last year. We have radishes, lettuce, spinach, broccoli, peas, and chard all going strong in our little garden, and little apples, pears, peaches, plums, and apricots growing on our fruit trees. Katie even made two strawberry rhubarb crisps earlier this week using the rhubarb from our garden . Nevertheless, the best crop of the year so far has been our rabbits. We had a litter of 8 back in January (the last four of those were put in our freezer on Thursday). We had a litter of four about 6 weeks ago that have another month or so to go before they join their older sisters. About two weeks ago we were blessed with another litter of 3-6.  To add to this, it appears that one of our does is again pregnant. This is evidenced by the 3 foot long burrow that she built under our shed, and the fact that when provided with straw she compulsively began stuffing it into said burrow (watch the video). We are very pleased by the success of our 'free-range' rabbit experiment. If anyone has some good rabbit recipes, feel free to send them our way!

Daddy bunny (pretty sure...they all look the same) with three of the four (approximately) six-week-old adolescents, all nibbling on a piece of honeysuckle vine.

One of our ~2-week-olds. They're pretty cute when they first start venturing out of the burrow.

The burrow that now exists under the concrete floor of our shed. I swear she dug this overnight. Any guess how long it will take before they start showing up in our neighbor's yard?

Juno (or is that Jadwiga?) collecting straw for her nest under the shed.

Later the same afternoon. If you hadn't see the burrow, you'd never know it was there. Sneaky little rabbits!

These are our chickens. They still lay blue and tan eggs (not from the same chickens). We have a lot of eggs right now. Do you want some?

Little Pears

Lots of little peaches.

Apricots

Plums. (Does anyone know how to keep the squirrels from stealing all my fruit?)

Heirloom oxheart tomatoes seedlings started from seeds given to me by Kathy in my lab. 

Hoping it warms up this week so I can put these in the ground...

We spent Easter weekend at my brother and his wife's place in St. Louis. They just had their fourth child, Cypress, and my parents, two sisters, one brother-in-law, and two of my other nieces were all in town for his baby blessing on Easter Sunday. It was a great weekend.

A bunny of a different type visited while we were there...

This is their dog Boomhauer. He's awesome.

Before church. Aren't families great?

In other news, Katie got a new road bike. Are you jealous?

LaPierre Audacio 400L

This bike is possibly worth more than my car...of course, that's not really saying much.