Marriages and video chat

After my last post, you may all wonder if I am insane. Presumably, yes.

I am over halfway done with my time here in Atlanta and Google video chat has saved my marriage. Too bad it wasn't around when we were doing that whole long distance engagement thing...

We chat about every day and our conversation revolves around a few questions I almost always ask Alex:

1) How is Lucy's leg?

2) How is Lola's cancer?

3) How is your MRSA?

4) Is Ruben throwing up lately?

5) Are there any baby bunnies?

Here are some the typical responses:

1) Not good.

(Ow! She kept jumping over the fence to go eat chicken poop so Alex made the fence high enough that she couldn't jump over it. She still tried to, though...)

2) Not any bigger than yesterday.

3) Gone. For now.

4) Let's see. Yes.

5) Induced ovulators are the bane of my existence.

Read below if interested in the problem that sometimes happens with induced ovulators. FYI cats and camelids are also induced ovulators. Wouldn't that be strange if humans were?

(My apologies if that is too much information for anyone out there. Vet students, including myself,  are pretty much desensitized to anything having to do with animal reproduction.)

That's about the extent of it. Our conversations are mind-bogglingly stimulating, which is what has to happen if you are going to have an interesting and exciting relationship.

Trust me. I'm almost a professional.

PS Thanks for all your concern about my gooberschnoozle. I finally won the war and the gooberschnoozle retreated, leaving in its wake a crater the size of Juneau.

Gooberschnoozles, etc.

Warning: Explicit content. Read at your own risk. No pictures have been posted out of concern for my audience.

I have currently been in Atlanta for two weeks. It was all going quite well until I developed the largest gooberschnoozle I have ever had in my life. Ever. Right on the end of my nose. It started benignly enough, just a little red patchiness. Then, last week one day, as I was minding my own business, I came to the realization that this was not yo' mama's average gooberschnoozle; it was going to be a full blown, scheming, corrupt gooberschnoozle and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Over the next few days, it became an angry, frustrated, discontent gooberschnoozle apparently convinced it is destined to take over my nose. The fight is still not over. In fact, I am not sure it has even really begun.

This was an inconvenient time to have a fuming, bubbling, gurgling gooberschnoozle on my nose. I am new here, and it is hard to make friends when you have a depraved and misdirected gooberschnoozle; it is like the dead draft horse lying in the middle of the room that everyone tries to ignore and not trip over. And I am trying to impress people, here. I mean, do people write good letters of recommendation for people that have sneaky, underhanded gooberschnoozles? I don’t even know. Does anyone out there know anything on this topic?

For the few of you out there that might still be reading this and aren’t totally disgusted and dismayed, please know, that while I can’t promise gooberschnoozle-free friendships, I am a loyal and compassionate person and I still want to be your friend.

The end. 

Oh, Atlanta

I learned this morning on the news that Atlanta owns ten snowplows. And those are really just dump trucks with snow plow attachments. Since that was not nearly enough to get anything productive accomplished, the city contacted 48 local residents that happen to own tractors to help them remove the layers of snow and ice that have paralyzed the city since Monday morning.

I walked to the grocery store yesterday and I noted three things: 1) no cars on the road, 2) no produce on the shelves and 3) friction is desirable, especially on hills.

Since public transportation has been down, I spent my time productively yesterday using this

to do this

and Bobby, my landlady's friend, swept behind me

Because why wouldn't you sweep snow off a driveway?

It was like chipping off an ice sandwich piece by piece. Ice-snow-ice. I guess that would be a snow sandwich. About five inches of snow fell Sunday night, the first layer melted, and then after the snow fell freezing rain. The major roadways are clear now except for a large amount of water, which refreezes at night to cause large black ice patches, and the city doesn't have and can't mobilize enough vehicles to properly clear and salt the roads. Therein lies the trouble.

We actually ended up doing this whole part too, you know, just for fun.

At first I thought we were actually shoveling the entire driveway (as opposed to a path) for a good reason. Turns out we weren't because neither of them intended to use their cars on those roads.

But at least they COULD if they WANTED to.

Be prepared.

My Sister as Elf #2

I hope Beth won't mind me sharing this picture of her.  It was taken about 6 or 7 years ago, and I can't say it's a very accurate portrayal of how she looked then or now.  Nonetheless, my house elf picture that Katie posted below somehow reminded me of it, and since my wife is gone and posting pictures on our blog is more fun than studying, here it is for all to enjoy!

I need to share some things

There are three things I need to share.

1. This picture. I can't keep it to myself any longer.

Alex made the second to last cut as a house elf on Harry Potter.

2. This story (recounted from a Jewish rabbi in a book called Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom)

A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm.' The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man.

Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.

Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.

So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed. He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins. He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry. And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm.'

My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm.

And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete.

3. This song: 

PS I am living in Atlanta for six weeks starting yesterday. I desperately miss everything about Illinois except for the cold. Including Ruben and my elf.

Lola's run in with the veterinarian

 

A couple of weeks ago, we discovered a teeny tiny mass on one of Lola's legs below the hock. We stuck a needle in it, stained it and looked at it under the microscope and were shocked to see that it had some malignant characteristics and might be cancerous. 

The next step was to take it off and submit it to the pathologist to find out if it really was cancer or not. That was last Thursday and we have been anxiously awaiting the results since then. You know all the terrible things that run through your head when you are awaiting test results...

We got the results back today. 

Translation: cancer. 

However, there is good news: 

That is really, really low. 

The bad news is that it was incompletely excised because it was adhered to surrounding tissue. So, for now we will wait and see how long it takes to grow back and how fast it grows when it does. There is a chance that Lola may need her rear leg amputated sometime in her life, but there is also a good chance that she won't. We are grateful for every day we have her and she is grateful for every day she has four legs (although she doesn't know it yet).  

Chicago part deux

Chicago part uno.

This time around, my friend Katie Schneiber from the BYU glory days decided to give the Midwest a try and stop by for a visit. We spent our short time in Chicago, because... why not?

Chicago is a large city, but

we found the bean. 

We also found the largest Christmas tree in Chicago.

One thing we did not find was Ira Glass. Where were you, Ira? 

We found a stained glass museum absconded at the back of Navy Pier. There were some truly beautiful pieces. Maybe I found my new hobby.

This is a piece by Louis Comfort Tiffany of the Garden of Gethsemane. This photo truly does not convey the magnificence that you might feel standing in front of it. 

We all found a Santa friend.

Alex has shifty eyes. I think he wasn't all good this year. 

Katie was a good girl. For her reward, she gets to golf in Florida over Christmas.

This is what I get for Christmas. Maybe I wasn't so good either. 

Katie's Great-Aunt/Second Cousin/First Cousin once removed Betty was kind enough to let us sleep under her roof. Katie hadn't seen her for nearly twenty years and Betty gave Katie all sorts of wonderful family photographs and told some great stories. She also had a great Christmas sweater which had dancing pink flamingos.  It was great to be able to meet her and hear a little about her life and family.